I recently finished The Geography of Bliss, a thought-provoking book that explores the relationship between where we live and how happy we are.
One of the questions author Eric Weiner shares: Where do you want to die?
Although the Brookings Institution says fewer Americans are relocating than in the past, many of us think nothing of moving across the country or around the world in the name of career, love or the pursuit of happiness.
I find the “hometown” question on your Facebook profile intriguing because different people interpret it different ways. Some list the place they grew up, others where they live now, some hedge and give both.
I answer the question “Where are you from?” different ways depending on the context. If we’re traveling, I take it to mean “Where do you live?” so I answer New York. If it’s a conversation here in NYC, I assume the person is asking “Where did you grow up?”
When I read the question, “Where do you want to die?’ it seemed to strip away that need to interpret or consider. It gets at the essence of where you feel most connected. It’s why Hospice patients often express the desire to die in their own homes instead of in a hospital.
I felt the answer to that question in my heart, instantly, deeply. I want to die in Michigan. It’s where my family is, it’s where I grew up, it’s where my mom is buried.
Where do you want to die?
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Where do you want to die?
5 Comments
H.T. Riekels
Where I die is where I die. It’s how I live that is important.
margaret y.
I agree with H. T. Riekels. It’s going to happen, but where it happens isn’t that important.
Colleen Newvine Tebeau
I hear you, H.T. Absolutely it’s important to live well, not just prepare for death and wait it out.
But let me ask you and Margaret to picture this: you’ve been given a week to live. You’re for some reason in a hotel in a city you have zero connection to. Let’s say you were at a conference. Would you just settle in where yuu are or would you make every effort to get back home?
Now some of that is about who you’d want around. Margaret, if Chi and the kids were with you (now it’s a family road trip, not a conference) you might feel different than if they were all back home.
I just remember how passionately my mom wanted to die in her house, not in a hospital, and think there’s something significant about where, to the extent that any of us have a choice. Sort of like where you choose to get married, it’s to a major life event that might feel more true to you in one place than another.
But that could just be me. Happy to entertain opposing views!
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