In other words, what’s the number-one thing on your bucket list? I’m not a fan of the term “bucket list,” but I recently recorded a podcast with Matt Paxton, the breakout clutter cleaner on Hoarders. We got to talking about a random assortment of topics, the way the best late-night chats tend to, and touched on bucket lists.

Now, I’ve posted about bucket lists on my blog, Things I Want to Punch in the Face, so you can probably imagine I’m not the biggest fan of them. However, it did get me thinking about the thing or things I’d regret not doing if I were to croak tomorrow.

My immediate answer was travel. I’m in my forties but I haven’t gotten out of North America much. I’ve been to England and France, but those trips to Greece, Italy, Thailand, Egypt, Mauritius remain on my “to do” list and never seem to materialize. My excuses are run of the mill: I can’t afford it or I can’t afford to take the time.

Bullshit.

But beyond eating, praying, and loving my way around the globe, what I’d really regret is not finishing my memoir. It seems as if I’ve been working on and off on this for years and in fact, I recently found some writing from my early twenties that touched on this. So we’re talking 20 years I’ve been skirting and sniffing around this project without diving in and finishing it. Oh, I’ve worked on it. But again, money and time seem to rear their ugly heads. It’s hard to create a schedule that gives this room to breathe and develop and take shape. And I do need time for it. It’s much more emotionally demanding that anything I’ve ever done, writing or otherwise. It takes me to a dark place that’s hard to stay in when there are bills to be paid and live to be lived. So I’m moving back into a place where I can and will write something—anything—for the book each day. I may not be traveling soon but I am moving forward.