Throughout this year, several bloggers will engage in a conversation here and on their blogs — asking questions of each other and responding. Others are absolutely welcome to join the conversation, as well. Learn more about the ladies of Blogversation 2012.Typically I post the week’s Blogversation question on Thursdays. This week’s is a little late because it comes from Jennifer Worick, who’s up to her eyeballs in big business decisions.
The beauty of waiting a bit is that Jennifer is willing to talk with us about what’s really on her mind, and to invite us to share our thoughts on a big question she’s facing right now.
You can find her at jenniferworick.blogspot.com, on Twitter as @jennifer_worick:
How do you make sound business/career decisions without your emotions clouding your judgment?
I am in the process of making a gut-wrenching choice between two companies/two individuals who want to take my writing into a new arena. I can’t say much about it at this point, but I am seriously conflicted.
Every single woman I have spoken with—my agent, my leadership coach, my friends—has said “It’s not personal, it’s business” and urged me to take a certain path. I keep hedging, feeling—knowing—I’d disappoint the other party (who, by the way, I only know by way of two phone calls). When I think about making a decision—which I have to do by week’s end—I feel sick to my stomach.
Whatever I do, it will feel awful.
But making the “smart,” objective decision is where the growth is, I’m finding out. I’ve often made decisions out of fear or guilt or obligation or whim. What I’ve called my gut instinct has really just been fear masquerading as some sort of deep spiritual truth. I grew up in an environment where it was a survival strategy to be accommodating, and I still find it excruciating to act otherwise. I’ve built a support system of people to help me make decisions that are more in my best interest, that will move me and my life forward.
But I still feel sick about it.
5 Comments
Maria Stuart
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received — for anything — is that if you’re being forced to make a decision by a certain time and you don’t know what you want to do, do nothing. Decisions, especially big, life-altering ones, should be “unanimous,” so to speak. You can think all you want, and feel all you want, but in your gut, if you don’t know which direction to turn, stay where you are. The right decision will make itself known eventually. There’s a reason we sometimes feel conflicted.
Amy Throndsen
Thanks, Maria, for sharing. I’m going to take that advice with me. I’m sure I’ve heard a version of that before, but your words are a good reminder.
Eleanor
For making tough decisions, I find several people who will listen to me talk it out without interrupting or giving advice. In the process, any feelings that are getting in the way of making a good decision come off and I’m once again clear-headed about what I need to do.
Colleen Newvine Tebeau
Baked into this question is the assumption that it’s better to make decisions without your emotions. In the last year, I have tried to get out of my head on big decisons and listen to my heart and gut more. They seem to have an easier time deciding than my overthinking head.
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